How do you know if your teen may be depressed?
It can be confusing if your teenager seems completely fine some days, but other days she’s acting like it’s the end of the world. She may have had a breakdown recently that seemed totally out of character, but now you’re really concerned. The younger your teenager is, the more she may be able to compartmentalize her life. She might be able to have a blast with her friends, and then later that night seem down and upset. This is a strength of a lot of teenagers to be able to turn off different parts of their life in order to cope, but this can also make it harder for you as a parent to spot their depression.
Silent depression is when someone appears to be functioning in their day to day life, but it still experiencing the internal symptoms of depression. Your teen may still be going to school daily, but they may feel overly tired or unmotivated. Their teachers might even say they seem “distracted”. Or they may be spending time with friends but still feeling disconnected from others. They may isolate themselves in their room when at home and not be telling anyone how they have been feeling lately.
Some other symptoms of depression can include a lack of appetite and difficulty sleeping, but these can be easy to hide. Your teen might be skipping meals at school but eating at home. They may be turning their lights off at night, but not getting restful sleep. These can be hard to recognize unless you are asking and specifically looking for signs.
Let’s talk about some practical ways to figure out if your teen may be depressed.
Identify possible triggers.
Trauma can look different for everyone. A break up with a friend or significant other can be traumatic for some. Changes in schools or changes in social groups, whether by choice or not can cause a mix of emotions. Conflict at home or family illnesses can lead to ongoing stress regardless of the source. If there is something your teen might be going through, don’t underestimate the impact. Middle school and high school are difficult enough on their own, and adding just one more change can affect a teens emotional stability.
Notice changes in behavior.
Your teen may enjoy alone time, but have they significantly increased the amount of time they spend by themselves? If they are skipping out on time with their favorite friend group, it could be a sign they are isolating themselves. Are they crying more often than normal over small issues? Are their grades dropping significantly or do they generally seem unmotivated even if grades are still up? Are they skipping meals or having trouble sleeping? One of these changes alone does not mean that they are depressed, but these changes could be signs that it is worth exploring the topic more…
Ask her openly.
Ask your teenager if she has been feeling down or if she considers herself depressed. Even if your teen says “No. I’m not depressed.” You’ve still shown her that it’s a topic you’re willing to discuss and she may be more likely to bring it up in the future if needed.
If she has been feeling depressed you may be surprised by how much she knows about the topic. Mental health concerns are talked about a lot more openly in schools, by other teens, and on social media. She may be able to verbalize to you exactly how she’s feeling if you open up the discussion.
Educate yourself about self harm.
Self harm, specifically cutting, can coincide with depression in teens. Cutting is usually done as a way to feel a release of pain and essentially soothe oneself. It is an outward symptom of a deeper inner struggle. It is very difficult for a teen to “just stop” self harming without replacing it with positive ways to cope with emotional pain.
If you find out your teen has been self harming the best thing you can do as a parent is to stay as calm as possible while also taking it very seriously. Let your teen know that you take their emotional pain seriously and take the necessary steps to get them help to learn better ways to cope.
Get professional help.
Show your teen you take them seriously and that their mental health is a priority. Let them share what type of therapist they may connect with, or involve them in the decision making process once you find a therapist. There are also group therapy options that are normalizing for teenagers and may put less pressure on them to talk. No matter which option you choose, show your teen that taking action is important by getting them the help that they need.
It’s never too early to get counseling if you suspect your teen may be depressed. Preventative treatment can be just as important to keep depression at bay. Your teen might need a shorter term of therapy if it is mainly preventative, or longer term if issues have been persistent. They can learn the skills to manage their emotions, deal with stress, and communicate their needs and boundaries. I offer a free consultation call if you think I may be the right fit for your teen.
Comments