A very wise counselor once told me “NO is a complete sentence”. I was just beginning my own counseling journey at the time, and this took a while to sink in. You mean I don’t have to explain myself or have a valid excuse for saying no to something? And I don’t have to experience debilitating guilt for letting others down? Nope!
We live in a time where we are constantly connected and we never want to experience a missed opportunity. But sometimes having FOMO (fear of missing out) is ok, and we need to take the time to think about what we need and embrace the power of “no”.
3 Reasons to Say NO:
1) I want to, but I’m tired!
You realllllly want to make it to movie night or happy hour, but you know that if you do one more thing it is going to push you over the edge. Sometimes you may be conflicted about saying no, but you have to remember that when you say no to an event you are saying “yes” to what you would rather use that time for. And sometimes that means saying YES to couch time and sleep.
2) I just don’t want to do it.
Sometimes you are not conflicted at all. The first thought that pops into your head is “ughhhh, I do not want to do this”.
*I know I don’t have time to take on another project. I am jam packed as it is.*
*I know this social event will just drain me. I don’t even know these people that well.*
*I just don’t have the patience for my family tonight.*
And that is OK! When you are clear about what you want, the culprit that is typically holding you back is guilt. It is hard to let others down, but at the same time you are NOT responsible for how others feel. It is OK to care about how they feel, but it does not have to control your decision making.
3) Because you CAN!
My favorite reason to say NO is just because you can :)
It is empowering to realize that your NO’S are your NO’S and therefore your YESES are your YESES! If you said yes every time a friend asked you to hangout, they would never know if it is because you actually wanted to or because you just always say yes. When you say YES because you truly want to, the people in your life will start to notice. They will see a happier, healthier you.
Because ultimately saying NO, means we have the power to say YES too.